


Things I'll Never Say

by TrisPond



Series: Summer Oikage Week July 2019 [7]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, No Spoilers, Oikage Week, but is post anime, interhigh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-11 12:30:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19928110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrisPond/pseuds/TrisPond
Summary: Watching Kageyama Tobio playing, Oikawa feels many things.





	Things I'll Never Say

**Author's Note:**

> Summer Oikage Week 16-22 July 2019!: Day 7- Free theme!

They weren’t even supposed to be there. Iwaizumi Hajime and Oikawa Tooru should have been in class, watching the teacher explain how to solve the maths exercises. But there was no way Oikawa would let a small thing like that be on his way to watch the best of Japan playing.

He had talked to his parents and after much persuasion, they had let him stay at his aunt's house during the Interhigh’s days. After that, he had managed to convince Iwaizumi to come along with him. 

“How does it feel to see your kouhai playing at the Interhigh?”, Iwa-chan asks in a mocking voice when they both are watching Karasuno’s current game.

“Kageyama was never my kouhai,” Tooru replies.

He tries not to show how blue he feels because of it. It’s all his fault, he knows. He was the one who pushed Tobio away, who rejected him time after time. He had almost beat the boy once just because he had asked him to teach him.

Now, Oikawa can see Tobio has reached out to his potential. He is shining brighter than everyone else on this game and anyone could see he is born for it. His talent is vital to Karasuno stand a chance with Miya Atsumu and Miya Osamu. 

Kageyama must be fighting with the pressure of facing such strong opponents, but he doesn’t let it show. Instead, he makes smart decisions and plays perfectly. 

Oikawa’s greatest fear has come to reality: maybe Kageyama was better than him already. He was left behind. 

Strangely, he didn’t feel as hurt by it as he always thought he would. Yes, the possibility of being inferior to Tobio on court leaves a bad taste and he has an impulse to get up and practice until this ends, but still it’s nothing compared to what he feels about what he had done to Kageyama. 

Looking back, Oikawa can see how immature he was, to refuse to teach a boy that only wanted to be better, just because he was afraid that Tobio would steal the spotlight. He couldn't lose his spot on the team, it was all that he had. So, he hurt the boy as bad as he could, trying to avoid him surpass him.

Yet nobody could say anymore that Tobio wasn’t at least a good player or that he was wasting his talent. He felt strangely proud of seeing how well Kageyama was playing, even though he knew he had not the right to feel this way since he had done everything to avoid it. 

He knew that, in some twisted way, Kageyama still looked up to him, at least for how he played on the court. 

But he had no illusion that the boy didn’t hate him, it was clear as day every time that they meet: Tobio despised him for the way he was treated. It was only fair; somehow, still, it made Tooru mad. He wanted to go back when Tobio still looked to him with only adoration on his eyes, instead of this hatred. 

_ How does it feel to see your kouhai playing at the Interhigh?,  _ Iwa-chan question comes back to his mind. It feels horrible and amazing at the same time. Tooru can’t take his eyes way of Tobio for a second, not even to see the shrimp or the blonde blocker (who had improved greatly), he can’t stop following his every move. He feels regret, sadness, and satisfaction, all at once.

The truth is that Tobio has never been his kouhai and could never be.

“Come on, I can’t stand being so close to those idiots anymore,” Oikawa says the second the game ends, pretending that he wanted to get away from there all this time, but only the level of the game had stopped him. 

His rush didn’t have anything to do with not wanting to be caught by Tobio there, of course.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this finishes the Oikage week. It has been a lot of work but a lot of fun too!


End file.
